Over outside doorbell. Instead of champagne, use 'press bell or alternatively, yell 'ding dong' really loud'. Use spray painted cheap frame & laminated backing for words - wooden accents around button -p
Dog and baby. Tried this with my lab but she kept getting up to lick the baby, guard him or go get me because I had clearly abandoned him. Might work with a less concerned dog. She still fetches me every time baby cries.