Explore Bedtime Stories, Happily Ever After, and more!

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time a man asked a girl to marry him, the girl said “no!” And she lived happily ever after, and went shopping, dancing and drinking. She always had a clean house, never cooked and looked fabulous all the time.

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Magnets from Anne Taintor: put on your life preserver. I'm about to rock the boat - vintage retro funny quote

Yeah!

Whatchu mean "the fuck you lookin at?" Obviously i'm lookin at the shit you feastin on!

Behind every beautiful woman, there's a guy who's tired of fucking her. | Breakup Ecard

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: You Play The Victim So Well. I'm Surprised You Don't Carry Around Your Own Body Chalk.

I believe I will cross-stitch this and hang it in the kitchen

EVERY day my kid asks "what's for dinner?" I reply "food". He says "what kind of food?" I reply "The kind you eat. It is what is it - they'll eat it or starve ;

I hears about history repeating itself, but this Monday thing has got to stop!

I heard about history repeating itself, but this Monday thing has got to stop!

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. And the answer is YES!

All I'm asking...please keep your mouth shut. Thanks.

Ask ANY Survivor of narcissistic abuse and they will tell you. There came a time in their relationship where THE SILENT TREATMENT was a godsend.

Funny Family Ecard: If you are going to scream like that, you better be on fire with a stick in your eye.

My daughter doesn't do that shit. And parents that allow their kids to.well I will light you on fire and put a stick in your eye!

Don't take more than your share or the devil will get you.

"Be Good To Your Goblins!" ( vintage halloween / retro halloween / trick or treat / witch / bunny / butterfinger / baby ruth ) candy advertisement / ad / goblins

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