if you can't be kind, be quiet. If only people remember that in the "HEAT" of the moment. When we were young, we were told just about the same thing. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"
It's funny how people make important decisions in life, the most important decisions of their life, based on what everyone else, the unimportant outsiders primarily, will think about things. Pretty backward way to live.