Senior jokes

A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!" The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. She…

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Pin by Kim Eason on Make Me Laugh in 2022 | Funny day quotes, Morning quotes funny, Sarcastic quotes funny

Three brothers each marry a woman. The first one married a woman from Minneapolis, and said to her: “When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean and tidy.” He didn’t see any changes on the first day, but on the second day the house was clean and tidy. The second brother married...

Funny humor Anniversary Card from Eric Decetis Food Channel Rerun. Pictura USA Outside Text: DAMN. Another rerun on the food Channel again. That's the microwave Bob. Inside Text: No mistaking it....You two were meant for each other. Happy Anniversary Refinements: Embossing Design: Eric Decetis 0012.30056

women dont hit their prime untill 80

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "It is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. ...

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!” The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She…

A man hates his wife’s cat with a passion and decides to get rid of it once and for all. He drives twenty blocks away from home and drops the cat there. The cat is already walking up the driveway as the man approaches his house. The next day, he decides to drop the cat forty blocks away...