I'm certain I think of him while he's thinking of me because I think of him constantly. I still pray that God will grant me this one little trifle, this one wish, this one pleaded idea. I drop to my knees and ask him to bring us together.
A cycle of depression. It's time to stop pretending that depression, anxiety, etc are all something you can just "snap out of." You wouldn't tell a diabetic to "snap out of" a blood sugar high; you'd give them insulin.
Previous pinner--This is how it works. You think you can handle it. But then, the burden gets too heavy to bear. So you just collapse under the pressure. And people wonder what happened to you "all of a sudden".