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Funny Jokes And Riddles

Funny Jokes For Adults

A teacher was explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said. A little girl raised her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some children's stories could become, asked the little girl to describe the...

A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor: "Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess:" "I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than you. It's been so incredible and fun, I've not been able to stop myself. Sometimes it ‣ by Jokes... Funny Stuff, Funny Texts, Good Jokes To Tell, Crazy Jokes, 6th Grade Science, Poor Family, Funny Picture Quotes

A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor: "Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess:" "I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than you. It's been so incredible and fun, I've not been able to stop myself. Sometimes it ‣ by Jokes...

After the birth of their 9th child, a redneck couple decided... ... they'd had enough because they couldn’t afford a larger bed. The husband went to the veterinarian and asked to be snipped. "Me'n my cousin dun want no more kids." The vet told him he could get a vasectomy, but it ‣ by Jokes Of... Funny Times, Hilarious Jokes, Funny Riddles, Redneck Humor, Vasectomy, Pandas

After the birth of their 9th child, a redneck couple decided... ... they'd had enough because they couldn’t afford a larger bed. The husband went to the veterinarian and asked to be snipped. "Me'n my cousin dun want no more kids." The vet told him he could get a vasectomy, but it ‣ by Jokes Of...

Three vampire brothers decide to hold a competition to see which one of them is the most powerful. The first brother is the strongest. "Watch this," he says, and takes off at nearly 100 miles per hour. Two minutes later, he returns, his mouth covered in blood. "What happened?!" His brothers... Dark Humor Jokes, Clean Humor, Stupid Funny, Funny Things

Three vampire brothers decide to hold a competition to see which one of them is the most powerful. The first brother is the strongest. "Watch this," he says, and takes off at nearly 100 miles per hour. Two minutes later, he returns, his mouth covered in blood. "What happened?!" His brothers...

Sam signs up with the army and gets sent on basic training. When they are handing out rifles, he is at the back of the line and they run out just before they get to him. The Sergeant gives him a stick and tells him to just pretend it's a rifle. So ‣ by Jokes Of The Day Funny Army Quotes, Military Life Quotes, Military Jokes, Army Humor, Army Jokes, Dad Jokes, Army Funny

Sam signs up with the army and gets sent on basic training. When they are handing out rifles, he is at the back of the line and they run out just before they get to him. The Sergeant gives him a stick and tells him to just pretend it's a rifle. So ‣ by Jokes Of The Day

Father John took a seat on the A train in NYC... ... and was disgusted to see a drunk man reading a newspaper sitting across from him. The dishevelled smelly man was wearing a t-shirt with a photo of a naked lady on it and he reeked of alcohol. The drunk stared ‣ by Jokes Of The Day Clean Jokes, What Causes Migraines, What Is April, Joke Stories, Father John, Fathers Say, Joke Of The Day, A Guy Who

Clean Jokes

What Causes Migraines

Father John took a seat on the A train in NYC... ... and was disgusted to see a drunk man reading a newspaper sitting across from him. The dishevelled smelly man was wearing a t-shirt with a photo of a naked lady on it and he reeked of alcohol. The drunk stared ‣ by Jokes Of The Day

A JFK conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him. "Welcome. You are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully." Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, "Who really shot Kennedy?" God replies, "Lee... Short Jokes Funny, Fun Quotes Funny

Short Jokes Funny

Fun Quotes Funny

A JFK conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him. "Welcome. You are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully." Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, "Who really shot Kennedy?" God replies, "Lee...

There was an elderly couple who in their old age... ... noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband ‣ by Jokes Of... Funny Mom Jokes, Funny Poems, Bible Jokes, Adult Jokes

There was an elderly couple who in their old age... ... noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband ‣ by Jokes Of...

A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer... ... for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day. The next day though, the farmer turned up at Tommy's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died." Tommy replied, ‣ by Jokes Of... Hilarious, Short Jokes

Hilarious

Short Jokes

A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer... ... for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day. The next day though, the farmer turned up at Tommy's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died." Tommy replied, ‣ by Jokes Of...

A cat dies and goes to heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years." "Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask." The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a ‣ by Jokes Of The Day Funniest Short Jokes, Funny Cat Jokes, Cat Quotes Funny, Cute Jokes, Funny Cartoons, Funny Quotes And Sayings

Funny Quotes And Sayings

A cat dies and goes to heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years." "Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask." The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a ‣ by Jokes Of The Day

Two Americans are touring Europe, and are scheduled to arrive in France Sunday afternoon. However, they arrived several hours early, and had little to do on Sunday morning while everything was closed. "Well," one says to the other, pointing to a nearby Cathedral, "Why don't we attend Mass?"... Life Quotes Deep, Life Quotes To Live By, Work Quotes, Jokes For The Day, Morning Jokes, Church Jokes

Life Quotes Deep

Life Quotes To Live By

Two Americans are touring Europe, and are scheduled to arrive in France Sunday afternoon. However, they arrived several hours early, and had little to do on Sunday morning while everything was closed. "Well," one says to the other, pointing to a nearby Cathedral, "Why don't we attend Mass?"...

In a small town, there were two brothers... ... who, over the course of many years, cheated, swindled, robbed and generally stole from everyone that they ever did business with. The entire town and surrounding community reviled and despised these two brothers as everyone was aware of just how... Best Funny Jokes, Good Clean Jokes, Sarcastic Quotes

Best Funny Jokes

Good Clean Jokes

Sarcastic Quotes

In a small town, there were two brothers... ... who, over the course of many years, cheated, swindled, robbed and generally stole from everyone that they ever did business with. The entire town and surrounding community reviled and despised these two brothers as everyone was aware of just how...

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency... ... looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. So the couple produce photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful... Funny Fart Jokes, Fart Humor, Some Funny Jokes, Long Jokes, Pediatric Care, Adoption Agencies

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency... ... looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. So the couple produce photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful...

Funny Jokes To Tell

A Drunk Man Sits By A Duck Pond. The drunk man thinks to himself, “I’d like to have a duck for my dinner.” So the man grabs a massive stick, and plonks a baby duck that was sitting on the edge with it! He grabs up the little duckling and begins to ‣ by Jokes Of The Day

A coach is looking after a young ice hockey team. At one point during the game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is ‣ by... Good Jokes, Stupid Jokes, Funny Work, Ice Hockey Teams, Hockey Players

A coach is looking after a young ice hockey team. At one point during the game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is ‣ by...

A little boy wanted a bicycle for Christmas. His mother said she didn’t have enough money to buy him a new bike but suggested that if he wrote to Jesus promising to be a good boy in the future, then maybe Jesus might be willing to get him one. So the boy started ‣ by Jokes Of The Day Funny Work Jokes, Work Quotes Funny, Stupid Funny Memes

Funny Work Jokes

Work Quotes Funny

Stupid Funny Memes

A little boy wanted a bicycle for Christmas. His mother said she didn’t have enough money to buy him a new bike but suggested that if he wrote to Jesus promising to be a good boy in the future, then maybe Jesus might be willing to get him one. So the boy started ‣ by Jokes Of The Day

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan? And didn't I marry ye and yer Hoosband two years ago?" She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father." The Father asked, "And be ‣ by Jokes... Fertility Candle, Relationship Jokes

Fertility Candle

Relationship Jokes

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan? And didn't I marry ye and yer Hoosband two years ago?" She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father." The Father asked, "And be ‣ by Jokes...

Just be careful everyone, people are going crazy from being in isolation! Actually, I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different... Wtf Funny, Funny Puns, Relatable Quotes

Wtf Funny

Funny Puns

Relatable Quotes

Just be careful everyone, people are going crazy from being in isolation! Actually, I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different...

A Highway Patrol Officer pulled over a little old lady for going 10mph on the highway. As he walked up to old lady’s car he noticed there were 3 other elderly folks looking very frightened and rigid. He leaned down to the old lady’s window and noticed she was as calm as could ‣ by Jokes Of The Day

Einstein sits next to a man on a long flight. Einstein says, "Let's play a game. I will ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you will pay me only $5; but if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500". The man agrees and the game ‣ by Jokes Of The Day Very Funny Jokes, 9gag Funny

Very Funny Jokes

9gag Funny

Einstein sits next to a man on a long flight. Einstein says, "Let's play a game. I will ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you will pay me only $5; but if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500". The man agrees and the game ‣ by Jokes Of The Day

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening... ... the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand... Crazy Funny, Humor

Crazy Funny

Humor

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening... ... the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand...

Best Quotes

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother ‣ by Jokes Of The Day

A burglar breaks into a house that is completely dark. He turns on his flashlight and proceeds to the family room where he intends to start bagging small items and work his way up to the big items. While he is beginning to collect valuables, he hears a voice... "Jesus is watching." ‣ by Jokes Of... Sarcastic Jokes, Funny Quotes Sarcasm, Funny Joke Quote

Sarcastic Jokes

Funny Quotes Sarcasm

Funny Joke Quote

A burglar breaks into a house that is completely dark. He turns on his flashlight and proceeds to the family room where he intends to start bagging small items and work his way up to the big items. While he is beginning to collect valuables, he hears a voice... "Jesus is watching." ‣ by Jokes Of...

Guy goes to the doctor for a checkup and gets bad news. "You've got a rare disease and you've only got 6 months to live," the doc tells him. The patient is incredulous and tells the doctor he's going to get a second opinion. He finds another doctor a few days later ‣ by Jokes Of The Day Cartoon Jokes, Minion Jokes, Jokes

Cartoon Jokes

Minion Jokes

Jokes

Guy goes to the doctor for a checkup and gets bad news. "You've got a rare disease and you've only got 6 months to live," the doc tells him. The patient is incredulous and tells the doctor he's going to get a second opinion. He finds another doctor a few days later ‣ by Jokes Of The Day

The police were called to a female gym. The female manager ran out to greet the two male officers as they exited their vehicle. “Please, come quickly.” She said in horror, “We’ve found a peep hole drilled into the changing room. Some pervert has been watching us!” “Don’t worry,” the policeman... Really Funny Short Jokes, Hilarious Dirty Jokes, Couples Jokes, Gyr

Really Funny Short Jokes

Hilarious Dirty Jokes

Couples Jokes

Gyr

The police were called to a female gym. The female manager ran out to greet the two male officers as they exited their vehicle. “Please, come quickly.” She said in horror, “We’ve found a peep hole drilled into the changing room. Some pervert has been watching us!” “Don’t worry,” the policeman...